1. |
Gateway Drugs
01:12
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You introduced me to pain,
And so I hurt myself as the next best thing.
Weakened by my attachment issues. Hardened by the ways you dealt abuse.
Now I'm on the ledge and then I'm off again.
Sick with contempt,
I measure madness in milligrams.
Do I deserve the worst?
Should I be denied love?
All the pain in my life's but a gateway drug.
I'd give an arm and a leg to feel a new sensation, so hack away.
Cut me limb from limb.
Divert my attention from the grief that dwells within.
Cleanse my mind and body.
Let me bereave.
Torment myself with things I don't need.
Inject me with peace.
Let it swim through my bloodstream.
Convinced it might be easier if I forget to breathe.
Desire is the devil.
Drug your heart and soul.
Drug your heart and soul with unnecessary evils.
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2. |
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I’ve been frozen in the dark for long enough, where now I’m only waiting for my eyes to adjust. Once figures turn to shapes and shapes turn to objects, I can trade my false hope for something more than mirages. So count me in, into another rage, into another day where it will all deflate. Throw defeat in my face and barricades in my way, but I’ll still make the climb up this spiral staircase.
Each step towards the top is beginning to show me that I’m not completely invisible. Through these paper-thin walls, I hear faint echoes of the ones I love and their struggles. If we break them down, we can reveal ourselves, moving slow and steady until they fire the next round. In the end, it’s just a game of Russian roulette, so go ahead; run with scissors and place your bets.
This is what I've come to call The Spiral March: a month in which we lose control, then we fall apart. Facing this head on may be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, so take to heart this notion before you move along…
"Beware The Spiral March for it has come, but not gone."
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